A Traditional Bengali Wedding

Pre-Engagement Customs:

Adan Pradan

Give and take or adan pradan symbolizes the Bengali system of a marriage alliance. This essentially involves the matching of ancestral lines or bangsas. After the bride and the groom approve of each other, the families of the bride and the groom sit together (sometimes in the presence of a purohit).

ENGAGEMENT CEREMONY

• Aashirwad or patri patra is the confirmation of the marriage alliance. This ceremony takes place a day or two before the actual wedding. It can be conducted either in the bride’s house or in the groom’s house.
  

• Decoration: An alpana (rangoli) is drawn and designs like lotus flowers or fish may depict various auspicious elements of the wedding. Besides alpana, a small banana tree is placed at the entrance of the house. Under the tree a copper vessel called mangal ghot is produced. The door is decorated with a string of mango leaves, which stays on for a period of one year after her marriage.
  

• Vridhi Ceremony:This is the ceremony where ancestors are worshipped. This takes place both in the house of the bride as well as the groom.
  

• Dodhi Mangal: This ceremony is generally done in the houses of both the bride and the groom at the crack of dawn. Then eight to ten married women bring water in a pitcher to bathe the bride and the groom. Then the bride and the groom are offered food. Fried fish, rice, curd and churiya are some of the dishes prepared. On the day of Dodhi Mangal, the couple are supposed to eat only this.
  

• Wedding Piris: Piris are artistically designed and painted wooden planks usually done by a close friend or relative. The bride and the groom sit together on these piris. Conch shells are blown at the time when the newly weds sit on the piris.
  

• Tattvas: Tattvas are the gifts that are exchanged between the bride’s family and the groom’s family before and after the wedding. The gifts that are sent to the bride from the groom’s house are called Gae hallud tattva. The gifts that go to the groom’s house from the bride’s house are called Adhibas Tattva.
  

• Kubi Patta: On the day of marriage, a kubi patta is set up in the houses of both the bride and the groom. The altar carries three metal glasses filled with crushed rice, dhaan (grains) and khoi (pulses).
  

• Snan: Snan or the bathing rituals take place on the day of the marriage when the bride and the groom are still in their respective homes. Eight or ten married women apply turmeric on the bride/groom’s body. After the snan the couple wear new clothes.
  

• Sankha Porana: The ritual of wearing conch shells takes place in the bride’s house in the morning on the eve of the marriage. On this day the conch shell bangles are dipped in turmeric water.

Dressing up of the bride and the groom

• A red Banarasi saree, a red veil, a mukut (head dress), gaach kouto and a silver kaajal lata. The bride wears the saree and the ornaments. Her hair is neatly tied into a bun and covered with a veil. The mukut is fitted on to the saree. Sandalwood is artistically applied to the face in the design of the mukut she is wearing. When she is ready, she is given the gaach kouto and the kaajal lata and lo presto the radiant bride is ready.!
  

• The groom wears the dhoti and the kurta and comes to the bride’s house for the wedding. At the bride’s place he is given another set of clothes. He covers himself with the chaddar and wears the topor.