A Traditional Kashmiri Wedding

Pre-Engagement Customs:

Here the marriage process is initiated by the purohits . Everything starts from the matching of horoscopes.

• Matching of teknis (horoscopes): The matching of horoscopes is a prerequisite. Major importance is also given to family background, status and moral character of the family and their close relatives. All this and more is taken into consideration before the alliance is finalised.
  

• Kasamdry: It is just a formal commitment by the bride’s and the groom’s families which takes place in front of an idol. Both the families generally exchange flowers. Delicious food is prepared on this occasion. A delicacy is made from rice called var. Gifts are also exchanged between both the families.

The Wedding:

An auspicious date is selected for the mahurat. Thereafter, the house cleaning starts. Houses are cleaned with mud, cow dung and water. Var is made and served to everybody.

• Wanvun (music party): Here the bride and the groom’s family assemble together and sing songs. This is similar to the sangeet ceremony. Relatives and friends of both the families participate in this ceremony.
  

• Maanzirat: The aunt of the bride and the groom decorate the door of the house. Mehndi is put on her hands and feet. The ladies who are invited for this function sing songs throughout the night.
  

• Devgan: It is a puja performed by both the families in their respective homes, in which prayers are offered to Lord Shiva. All the gifts that are given to the bride are kept near the fire and are duly worshipped. In this ritual flowers and a mixture of rice, milk, curd and water is showered on the bride. After this she wears new clothes i.e. the traditional costume gifted to her by her uncle.. Similarly the devgan ceremony is also held for the groom. He is presented with a new set of clothes by his uncle.
  

• Duribat: The maternal relatives of the bride and the groom are invited for lunch at the respective homes on the same day. The relatives carry gifts for the bride and the groom.
  

• Lagan (wedding): The arrival of the groom and his group is announced by the blowing of conch shells. The bride is carried by her maternal uncle to the place where the groom is standing. The eldest woman in the bride’s family then kisses the foreheads of the bride and groom three times.
  
  The purohit then leads the couple to the mandap. It starts with the rendering of shlokas. The bride and the groom cross their arms over each other, which is covered with a piece of cloth. A golden thread called manaanmal is tied on their foreheads. Then their left foot is kept on a sacred grinding stone. They are then made to step on silver coins and the other six rounds are made in accordance to the mantras. After all this the bride and the groom feed each other with rice. This act signifies their position of becoming a man and wife.
  

• Bidaai: The maternal aunt here again kisses the bride and groom’s foreheads. The bride then sits in a palanquin and bids a tearful goodbye to her parents, friends and relatives.
  

• Reception: The most interesting thing here is the groom’s aunt does not allow the couple to enter the house till he promises to get her something in kind. Only then the couple enters the house. Two pigeons are set free to celebrate the bride’s arrival. Then the couple is taken to the kitchen where the waza (traditional cook) serves them food. The bride changes into a new set of clothes and wears the jewellery she would have received from her in-laws.

Post Wedding Ceremonies :

• Satraat: On this day the bride goes back to her parent’s house with her husband and a few children from the family.
  

• Roth Khabar: On a Saturday or a Tuesday following the wedding, the bride’s family sends roth khabar (bread decorated with nuts) to their daughter. Then she is given salt as shagun.